As I was sitting there thinking about all the other things i could be doing
It dawned on me
This is what I want to be doing
With the tree tops whistling in my ear
Sitting in the stand
Not a deer in sight
But wilderness to be seen and
Animals to be heard
No animals were on this hunt but yet
This is was the best hunt in a while
I realized its not all bout shooting the deer
or the turkey
or the ducks
but enjoying
nature
and all of god's creation
what can i add to my poem?
Do u like the theme?
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You could probably add a little bit more details.
ReplyDeleteyour right its not about the kill its about going through 10 boxes of sells in duck season and only 1 round during deer season
ReplyDeleteI like the line: "With the tree tops whistling in my ear." Good description!
ReplyDeleteUse really specific details. You talk about how much you love nature. Shows us by taking us there and expressing how beautiful it is. Don't forget to use all senses. Yes, answer what it looks like, but also: What does the air taste like? How cold is it? How does the tree bark feel? What noises do you hear?
Also, talk more about the "other things you could be doing." Showing that you'd rather be hunting is only powerful when we know that there are other things you like to do.
well i dont eat meat, but i think its good tho an it really relats to you so i say keep the topic. but jus i think describe more of your emtion to how your feeling at the time.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds good. You could add a little more details to it. Like the temperature outside. Is it warm or cold? Describe it to us. To make us feel like we are actually there with you. You could also describe how the gun feels in your hands. Just stuff like that. But otherwise its pretty good
ReplyDelete